Fistulotomy part 2

There are days, like today, when I wonder if it was worth it. The chafing continued into this morning, with the antibiotic ointment. I called Dr. Jahadi and he scheduled me for an appointment for next Tuesday while he had me on the phone.

Today I am pretty dumpy because I just want it to be over. It isn't like having your arm operated on, or your feet. It's the inside of and the immediate opening of your rectum. That's where all the infectious stuff gets pumped out of your body. It is the part that's the most important to keep clean. I'm trying to make this thing heal and follow the rules, but then when I try to do that, the little chafing mark stings and makes me not want to do it anymore. The raw spot is exactly between my rectum and my perineum, just inside that little and very sensitive skin fold. The skin is really delicate right there and it's usually very pleasurable to the touch. I've wanted to use my sitz bath tub and the spray, which usually makes the swelling and pain pretty much disappear for a while, because of the water. The raw spot, the chafing, makes it sting like the dickens when it gets touched by water spray. Kind of reminds me an action adventure movie where the heroes are trying to save the day, and some terrorist is holding most of them at gunpoint, unable to be convinced that they will all die anyway if the heroes don't act soon.

It is today when I do wonder if living with the fistula and hemorrhoid would not have been so much easier than the recovery.